Positive Parenting as a Single Mom

You often hear about the adverse effects of single parenting, such as economic hardships, trust and abandonment issues in children, and just how hard it is on the only parent in general. But there are plenty of positive effects to single parenting, and ways that you as a single mom (or dad) can remain positive, even when you feel you may be overwhelmed.

Positive Effects that Single Parenting Can Have on Children

Children who are raised by a single parent can be just as happy and mentally healthy as those raised by two parents. The key is to maintain an environment that is flexible, nurturing, responsive, sensitive, and warm. Positive attention and praise, as well as clear rules, can help children feel secure and build strong relationships with them.

Children brought up in single-parent homes are more likely to:

• Develop Strong Bonds

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They receive a lot of one-on-one time that helps create a unique and robust bond. And this bond is one that continues to develop daily, even as they get older. So, if you’re worried that you may not have a strong enough relationship with them right now, don’t worry. It is something you can keep working to strengthen.

• Experience True Community

Children raised by single parents are more likely to be raised by a “village,” meaning the mother or father will have help from the community in raising them, including family, friends, and church family. Single parents who don’t live near their families are more likely to participate in community groups like churches and parent support. Getting involved in local civic groups and your child’s school can also help plug you into the community. The more connected you are, the more likely you are to have help when you need it.

• Share Responsibilities

Children in both single and two-parent families often have chores. However, the contribution of children in single-parent homes is necessary. The more children help, all that housework doesn’t fall on the single parent. It also teaches children to have pride in their work and realize the value of their contribution to the household. To encourage your children to help more and continue helping, recognize their effort, and praise them for it. Also, make it clear that you expect them to help and be specific when assigning chores.

• Learn to Handle Adversity

Children who are raised by a single parent generally witness their parent working hard, despite adversity, and learn to handle and overcome disappointments early in life. Children like this often become empathetic and sensitive adults.  You can help them learn to deal with these disappointments by encouraging them, supporting them, and showing empathy. You can’t protect your children from being disappointed; it’s bound to happen. However, teaching them to react appropriately and cope with and express their emotions will benefit them in the long run.

• Learn to Balance Priorities

Children raised in single-parent families are aware that they are usually a top priority in the life of their parent. However, they aren’t treated, nor do they act like they are the center of the universe to everyone in their lives. Help your children learn to balance their needs with the needs of their family members. Also remember that it’s okay as a parent to have needs of your own and take care of them such as alone time, or conversations with other adults.

Positive Parenting Strategies for Single Parents

Parenting can be stressful. Doing it alone can be even more stressful. Try the following strategies to reduce stress and promote positivity:

• Show love.

Praise your child regularly, and be sure to show them unconditional support and love.

• Create and keep a routine.

Structured meals and bedtime will help your child learn what to expect and thrive.

• Use quality childcare.

When you must use childcare, especially if you need it regularly, make sure you use someone qualified, and someone who will provide a safe environment for your child or children.

• Set limits.

Set house rules and explain them along with your expectations. Make sure the caregivers in your life are reinforcing these and helping you provide consistent discipline. Consistency is vital.

• Try not to feel guilty.

Do not blame yourself for being a single parent. Also, try not to spoil your child either to compensate.

• Practice self-care often.

Take care of yourself! Try to include physical activity daily, eat healthily, and get lots of rest when you can. Set aside time to do activities that you enjoy, either alone or with others.

• Seek support from others.

Start a carpool with other parents. If there is a single parent support group nearby, join it. Ask neighbors or nearby family for help.

• Stay positive.

Even if you’re struggling, it’s okay to be upfront with your child about it. But also stay positive and remind them that things can get better. Make sure to keep conversations with them age-appropriate and try to maintain a sense of humor when dealing with challenges. It will help you and your kids feel better.

• Make the most out of every day.

Find ways to spend quality time with your kids and make the most out of it. Talk at dinner and turn the tv off. Tell bedtime stories. Have singalongs in the car.

• Spend one on one time with your kids.

If you have more than one child, try to schedule a regular one on one time with each child. This will help each of you develop strong bonds with one another.

• Pick your battles.

Discipline can get exhausting, especially when you’re handling it on your own. Choose your battles. Let little things go, and that way you’ll have more energy to handle the more significant issues.

Just because you are a single parent doesn’t mean that you and your children can’t thrive. There are plenty of successful and mentally healthy children that come from single-parent homes. Remember to take care of yourself, handle things calmly and positively, and try to make the most out of all the time that you spend with your children.