Parenting During and After Divorce

Parenting during, and after, a divorce can be a touchy subject. Even years after a divorce is finalized, agreeing on parenting issues can cause problems. There are other things that can interfere with parenting in a divorce situation. For new divorcees everything that is involved in a divorce can be a bit overwhelming, but over time things will start to become more routine.
The first thing that should be taken into consideration is the children, and how the divorce will affect them. The changes that take place during a divorce can be scary and overwhelming for them. Both parents need to find ways to make the transition from one parent’s home to the other feel seamless. With shared parenting the child or children should feel that they have a place at each parent’s home. Things such as the children having their own room or personal space can be beneficial to them feeling wanted and welcomed in each parent’s home. Throughout all the emotion and confusion that a divorce can evoke. Parents need to remember to take time out to just be with their kids, this doesn’t entail expensive trips or lots of money. It can simply be playing board game together, watching a favorite show with them, or any number of activities that your child enjoys.

For New Divorcees

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Parents who are new to the divorce scene, should make sure that they take time for themselves. Sometimes, as with a shared parenting situation, it can be hard adjusting to not being with your children for extended periods of time. Some parents find it hard to be apart even for a weekend. Taking this time to reinvent yourself and finding new interests and hobbies can help you gain a new sense of self and direction in your life. Also, expanding your circle of friends or joining support groups can help you connect to others and gain advice from people who have went through or are going through the same or similar situations that you are.

For Older Divorcees

It is a huge plus when the other parent is there for support, but unfortunately this is not always an option. As time moves on older divorcees tend to learn to roll with the tide and adjust accordingly. The times when our children need us can give us opportunities to stretch our own boundaries and become stronger for them.
Further, being able to set a positive example and avoiding negativity can help children overcome some anxiety. Sometimes a divorce can be more life changing for children than it can for adults. Parents should monitor their child’s behavior for any negative changes. Concerns should be addressed by contact the appropriate school personnel or child care provider, to inform or obtain information any changes in their child’s behavior, and if the parent can comfortably do so, explain the situation. Teachers and other child care personnel can be a great support system while your child is in their care.