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Making A Marriage Work: Marriage Fitness Time
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Making a marriage work is a whole new kind of workout! You got this far, met, dated, fell in love. Many had a kid or five! How do you keep the marriage working? Connected? Flame alive? In today’s society there are a large amount of families with dual incomes. This means balancing work, kids, getting housework done and still finding time to sit down and enjoy some ‘us’ time might seem impossible.
- Moms of newborns would choose extra sleep over sex.
- Couple working opposite work shifts so one can stay at home with the kids and they never see each other or even have the same days off of work.
- Sometimes there are feelings of being unappreciated.
Have you experienced or are you currently going through a marital crisis?
Whether you are on your first year or marriage or going on two decades there has to be some hard work added with the magic to make the relationship stay strong and full of love.
For me, I think it is important to have alone time without the kids or friends. This could be a weekly date night, dancing in the kitchen while you make dinner together, a stroll around the neighborhood or sometimes something more adventurous, like a concert or outdoor adventure. Everyone I’ve spoken with about making relationships last stress the importance of time together with no one else. Give your spouse weekly gifts. Something meaningful that shows you truly understand and know them.
It’s The Small Things… Truely
You know your spouse like no one else. Find the person you fell in love with when you were dating and rekindle that. Make small moments important. Tiny gestures, a note in a lunch bag, random compliment, flowers from the garden. Tell them how much you appreciate them and enjoy their company and them in your life and heart.
When To Get Help
When there are problems in a relationship with conflict and fighting my first suggestion is to sit down and talk in person. Be truly honest and express how you feel. Do not text about it. There can be problems with tone, conflict, unread sarcasm, etc. If you are away from each other, like one on a business trip, then you might have to settle for a phone call. But face to face is the best. When the fighting is starting to outweigh everything and you are considering throwing in the towel there is still hope. You can still fix things, if you want. Counseling is always good. But you can work on things at home too check out this alternative to counseling, Marriage Fitness. Mort Fertel has an awesome audio you can download called Marriage Fitness.
Making A Marriage Work
Things you can do to WORK on it… and by this, you really do need to make an effort!
Marriages require cooperation, participation and reciprocation by both people. If your spouse isn’t doing it, then just make sure you still are. You have to WANT a marriage to work.
Apply the ‘How Can I..’ to your situation. Problem solve. Have consistancy and endurance.
You can also check out, 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage.
Sign up for Mort Fertel‘s Marriage Fitness digital workshop and learn more.
Remember you are a team.
I polled some friends that have been in long-term, live together relationships or are married and here are some of their answers for making a marriage work with busy schedules, feeling unappreciated and when you are too busy to have date nights:
- Carla in Kentucky: We had to work together. we made sure we went out at least 2times a month and got a sitter. we both worked so much.
- Tiffany in Indiana: 1- How to deal with crazy work schedules in your marriage? Compromise, work opposite schedule him works nights I was on weekends…it was hard and sleep schedules were rough but we made it work. 2- What if I or my spouse feel unappreciated? We sit down like adults and talk. Communication is key. Don’t bottle stuff up or it comes to a head. 3- Date night is impossible, what do I do? We made time even if it was only an hour or 2 to go get a meal or go walking without kids to have us time. When we had a day off together we made sure to set aside a few hours for just us. Cuddle, movies or sometimes I’m cooking in the kitchen and he dances with me. Its little things that mean a lot.
- Lucianna in Mississippi: Hold hands when you’re walking or driving to keep the romance alive.
- Heather in California: What if I or my spouse feel unappreciated? I Communicate but normally after acting like a child for a day or so. I am not perfect. Roberts not felt unappreciated as of yet. I will keep you posted.
- Erin in Florida: You communicate, if one needs more attention it takes 2 seconds to send a text or go buy a card or pick up their favorite ice cream. Don’t take for granted the comfortability of knowing you have each other.
- Mary in Alabama: For us it’s the little things we do. For example. When he comes home from work I have a snack ready for him. He works hard for us and it holds him til I get supper finished. He keeps my gas tank full. I never have to worry about having to stop for gas because he takes my car and fills the tank. Date nights were rare for us. Two boys with autism and our youngest with asthma and allergies as well mean there aren’t a lot of takers. My youngest is 7 and has never been away from me at night… Not from lack of trying. It just means the time we have together is special. Even if we are lounging around watching a movie I have no interest in. We make our time count.
- Heather in Washington: His work schedule is insane, we make the most of what time we do get. It means more honestly. We aren’t just a couple, we are best friends. We talk about everything openly, including when one feels underappreciated. Making a special dinner, letting one or the other sleep in, or have some kind of time to just relax and do something they like. Little things matter smile emoticon we have 3 small children, limited time, and not many we trust with our boys so date nights are extremely few and far between. We make time when we can to have a movie night after the kids are asleep, or have a night where we stay up and play games together, just taking the time to do something with each other even if it’s just at home with the Littles asleep. I cant say it enough, the little things matter! Lol We have our moments just like everyone else, but I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He’s my best friend.
Every couple has their own antidotes on what works for them. Most are the same theme but the small details are important.
What works for you? What is your ‘must do’ with your spouse to keep things healthy in your relationship?
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