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How to Survive Without Child Support
It’s hard enough handling parenthood and all that comes with it when, as a single parent, you’re doing it alone, but add to that the stress of financial instability, and you may find yourself overwhelmed and reaching out for a lifeline. There can be any number of reasons that you find yourself without child support, whether temporary or long-term. Whatever the reason, it is possible to survive, and even thrive if you find yourself in this difficult situation. Here are a few ideas that may help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Make A List of Goals!
First, you need to decide on your goals. Depending on your personal situation, that might mean finding a way to pay for your kids’ college education, paying for their extracurricular activities, or simply getting food on the table and a roof over your head. Decide what’s absolutely essential and make sure you have a way to provide for those things first. It can be useful to make a list of everything you need money for, dividing it into three columns, one column for the basics, one for things important but not crucial, and one for nice-to-haves. Doing this will help you lay out your goals.
Next, make a budget. I know, no one wants to do this tedious, boring step, but, trust me, it can make the difference between barely getting by (or not!) and living comfortably, if not better. The good news is that you can find a variety of budgeting templates online, most for free. Pick one that most fits your situation and plug in the numbers. It may take a while to gather your information, but bank and credit card statements, as well as anything else you have that shows your expenses and your income will help. Now you can see how your income compares to your needs. If you’re lucky, your income will cover everything in all three expense columns, and you can stop reading now. But if you’re like most single parents without child support, there’s not enough, and you need to come up with ways to cover expenses.
Give Yourself Baby Steps To Your Goals
You likely will find that you have some immediate goals and some longer term ones. If you are faced with a sudden lack of child support after receiving it in the past, your needs will be more pressing than if you have been living without the extra support for some time. In emergency cases, you may qualify for temporary assistance from your local social services agency. Churches, religious organizations, and other non-profits often offer help also, whether in cash or other assistance. Don’t overlook food pantries, either. Some require referral from social services, but others are open to anyone. Social service agencies can also point you in the direction of legal assistance, if that is what is needed to restore or initiate child support payments. However, in many cases if the non-custodial parent is unable to pay for whatever reason, you will have to manage without, unless you qualify for public assistance, and even then, what benefits you might receive are usually minimal.
You Might Have Resources You Didn’t Think Consider
The next step is to take inventory of other resources. Are there family members willing to help out? I’m not talking about borrowing money, since that can be a hole hard to dig out of, but of other non-monetary contributions. Grandparents are often willing to help out with childcare, at least part-time. If you decide to move back in with parents, do you have a plan for moving on? It’s easier for everyone involved if there is an agreement on a time frame. Do you have friends that can help in other ways, such as carpooling, shared childcare, etc.? Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Remember, you are trying to take care of your children in the best way possible. Finding a support community, be it family, friends, or a religious congregation, can help in innumerable ways. As a part of a wider community, it can be easier to ask for help if you can offer help to someone else in return. Take advantage of that village.
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Use Your ‘Village’ To Help!
After you have set your goals, made a budget, and taken advantage of other resources available, you will probably still be facing a shortfall. When your budget comes up short, you really have only two choices: either reduce your expenses or increase your income. Take a good hard look at what you are spending money on and decide where you can cut expenses. Shopping at thrift stores may not appeal to you, but you may be surprised at what you might find there. Will a less expensive cell phone be just as serviceable? Do you really need all those cable channels? Are you taking advantage of all the resources at your public library? You can borrow movies, audible books, and more. One local library I know now loans out mobile hotspots. Your children’s school may also have resources. One school counselor I know refers families to an optician that provides children with glasses at a reduced cost. Some schools help out with the cost of field trips, but you may have to ask. I’m sure you can come up with more money-saving ideas when you start thinking about it.
Where Can You Get Extra Money?
Now, what about increasing your income? Depending on your circumstances, you may need a major boost or just some ways to bring in a little extra. Assuming that you are employed, is a job change a possibility? Are there extra ways to earn income at your current job? If you have been a stay-at-home caretaker, have you considered ways to earn money from home? Babysitting is just the most obvious, but there are other ways as well. There are online websites that match freelancers up with jobs, many done on the computer, such as copywriting, administrative tasks, proofreading, writing, transcribing and a wide variety of other jobs. One single mom I know earns extra cash by driving for Uber and Lyft. One caution, however, you need to take into account is the wear and tear on your car and the cost of gasoline and insurance. Another single mom I know fills in the gaps with a hobby that generates extra income. She finds small pieces of furniture at thrift stores and yard sales, fixes them up and repurposes them by painting or refinishing, adding her own decorative touches, and then sells them on Etsy or craft fairs. She also scavenges thrift stores for vintage clothing and accessories, makes any needed repairs and sells them for a profit. How about dog walking or pet sitting? These are just a few ideas to get you started.
As you make your way surviving on one income, consider the example you are setting for your children and the values you are imparting. They, as well as you, are learning thriftiness, cooperation, self-sufficiency, and more. Keep a positive outlook as you turn that lemon into lemonade!
What are your frugal ways for surviving on one income?
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