How to help your child to overcome shyness

Shyness is an unfortunate side-effect of other factors such feelings of worry, anxiety, or apprehension about upcoming unknown situations or the forced continuation of situations that are un-enjoyable. The reason that shyness is therefore unfortunate is because the fastest way to resolve issues with anxiety or apprehension is to take ownership of the problem and confidently explore any and all options towards making positive changes. That kind of behavior is the last thing shy people are ever likely to exhibit. So, it comes down to those of us around our shy loved ones to offer help – especially when it comes to shy children.

Of course, sometimes shyness in adults may be symptomatic of other issues, such as bullying or civil rights issues, for example, and these things must be dealt with separately (for more extreme scenarios, check out a Chicago civil rights lawyer for more info). However, today, we’re going to focus our discussion on ways to help children to make inroads towards a more confident outlook, because with confidence a child can engage with the world and get more from life in ways that simply are not possible when hiding away in private behind closed doors.

Sow the seeds of a more positive inner dialogue

Part of the problem with shyness is the limiting internal dialogue that often comes with thinking about new situations or new responsibilities. For example, a child that learns of a plan to visit a local site of interest on a school trip may show very little interest in the prospect of the day out because they will have told themselves things about the trip that put them off. They could fear getting lost. They may not like being outside if they are scared of dogs. They might not have many friends and could worry about being isolated away from the confines of the classroom.
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Guiding a child to form a positive outlook isn’t easy. Making a list of all the things that might be fun is a good way to start, and assigning times of day (you may need to provide them with a wrist watch) can help a child to create a picture in their mind of a linear timeline with sign posted events, meaning they are less likely to experience racing thoughts about things that could go wrong.

Join a club

If a child is shy, one of the reasons may be that all current attempts at entertainment (which should elicit feelings of excitement) are for some reason failing to grab their attention in the right way. The answer may be simple – join a club that allows them to develop confidence in a group of other children who also enjoy the club’s activities. When they feel like they have friends in a place of their own (e.g. karate dojo, sports club, dance club), they may start to show those feelings of openness towards life in other areas of their day to day routine. You may need to try several clubs, and see what sticks.