Co-Parenting-Consistently Keep The Peace

Co-Parenting-Consistently Keep The Peace

Co-parenting is not always easy but keeping the peace for the sake of the kids is important.  What do you do if you have events your kid will be at and you want to attend, but you know their dad will be there too?

My son loves basketball. He gets it from his dad. I used to dread going to the games because I knew his dad was going to be there. You couldn’t put us in the same room longer than two minutes before we started bickering with each other.

Going to the games were tough; you could feel the tension between us. It was awkward because I never knew if I should sit near him or what. I didn’t want to embarrass my son but I certainly didn’t want to sit near his father.
For the longest time I was never quite sure how to handle these situations. What do I do after the game? Do I go up to him and congratulate him? Do I wait for his dad to leave? What about the weekends he is with his dad? Do I have first rights at my son because he will be leaving with his dad and not me? What about the weekends he is with me, does his dad go first? Do we both congratulate or console him depending on the outcome of the game at the same time? I would wonder, “What in the world is my son thinking about all this?”

If you are anything like me, then you know how hard it is to co-parent at events that require both of you there. It can cause the calmest of people to have anxiety. Buddha would be at unrest. It’s perfectly normal to have these questions and to feel some level of anxiety. It’s all part of co-parenting and moving on.

Remember The Main Goal; Your Child

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Sounds simple enough but as you may have experienced, keeping the peace is not always easy but vital to your son. Keeping the peace means letting the other parent go first. Keeping the peace means sitting away from your ex-spouse and his family. If it reduces tension and stress, then why not?

There are no rules other than the rules you create. It is whatever works best for you for the harmonious betterment of your child. Your child already knows there is tension and what anyone else thinks doesn’t matter. Keep the peace so your child can enjoy their game. How amazing would your child feel knowing that both of his parents are there supporting him without all the drama?

Next, be consistent with keeping the peace. There is a time and place for everything under the sun. At your son’s game is not the time to have a grown up conversation. Don’t discuss your son’s performance in school or that homework assignments aren’t completed when he comes back from the weekend with his dad.

Being consistent in keeping the peace is by allowing the other parent to go first (if that is working, don’t fix it). If the other parent wants to try to take the credit for your son’s achievement, go for it. Let him have it. The more consistent you are in keeping the peace the more stable and rational you will be in your child’s eyes. The child will know who is who and your son will pass judgment on who was to blame. Kids crave peace…consistently be the source of peace.

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