5 Tips For Getting The Most Out Of Online Dating

Online dating isn’t new but it is getting more and more popular.  It is something that is quiet the norm for ‘how you met’ conversations.  Ten years ago, if someone said they met online, people would poke fun at others.  Now no one is surprised.  With online dating there are extra tips and tricks to know about, since you are putting yourself out there and chatting with someone before meeting them.  There are also extra cautions, since the internet gets more and more spam and fake people.  I’ve been on quiet a few online dating sites over the last few years.  None are ‘the one’ but some are better than others.  Some, I won’t mention by name, are known more for ‘hooking up’ rather than looking for someone to have a LTR (long term relationship) with.

1- Do not mention too much about yourself online.  These are strangers.  Do not tell someone your phone number right away, where you work, your last name, kids’ names, etc.  Nothing that can make it where they can find you if you decided to no longer communicate with them.

2- There are a lot of fake men out there.  People in other countries trying to get you to really get to know them and then they will ask for money.  People that have fake pictures and are ‘catfishing.’  People that are really married and like the attention by chatting and flirting with someone but have no intention of ever meeting you.

3- Talk basics.  Get to know them.  Make sure they don’t put up any red flags.  When you ask where they are from and they say ‘Los Angeles and can’t say ‘where’  they probably aren’t really here, in the states.  One I’ve noticed often is a man saying he is lives local to me and names a city) but is currently working in another state (like Texas or Washington) and has a child being raised by family in an entirely different state and he is a widow.  No sure why, but this seems to be a common one.  I think that way they have a story, empathy for them being a widow, they aren’t here ‘now’ so you can’t meet them, and they can string you along in text or messages, trying to ask about your day, but never being able to meet you.

4- Make the time from first communicating to the time you meet short.  Do not let it draw out weeks or months.  Odds are if you don’t meet soon (1-2 weeks) that you will never meet.

5- Research dating sites and find the one right for you.  You can join a few too.  The paying ones will get you matched with more serious people. But you can try the free ones too.  I heard a lot of people like We Love Dates for general public. There are also religious ones, for Christians, Jews, LDS and more.  Other niches, like single parents and divorced dating, are sites people can find.

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6- When I see the sites where the first impression is the most important I am choosy and I am high.  There are a lot of automatic ‘nos’ for me (or swipe left).  I am not interested in someone topless, that smokes, someone that has blury photos, that posts pictures with a group of people (and I’m not sure who the single man is), someone that lives out of state, or since I’m in California, that lives a few hours away, even if they are in California.

 My friends laugh, and say I’m too picky.  But I’m okay with that.  Being a single parent means the person I’m dating isn’t just someone that needs to be good enough for me.  They need to be good enough to be around my kids.

What tips do you have for single dating?